I miss you only when I’m lonely, so surely this is not love. Your warmth is no longer something I can easily remember. The memory of your voice fades but your face doesn’t. Am I shallow to be enchanted by a good lock, still encapsulated by a touch of childhood’s purity? Or am I shallow for desiring someone’s presence when my heart don’t particularly beat for them consistently?
You left the house when you were eighteen. Contrary to what you’d previously believed, the sky was so bright it hurt your eyes. It was as if the world was celebrating while your heart broke into pieces you had no time to collect.
Take my hand and leave the deafening world. Get rid of people. Get rid of love. Get rid of the burdens stripping away the last bit of kindness you still have.
My own world — your new home — has no place for either things. We are the only people left. There is no need for love when I plan to let go of your hand just as quickly as you take it. My company is only to pass the gate. From here on, your life is yours to live. I have no need of you. You certainly have no need of me.
When my tears overflow, I wonder: is it you I hate or is it me? The sun breaks through layers of curtains, colouring the room red. My heart is still beating even when each thump feels like a kick to the chest. Is it grief that leaves me broken or is it anger? Am I sad ’cause you’re gone or am I angry ’cause I’m not the one who cuts you off? Am I selfish for not wanting it to end or am I stupid for hanging onto something that’s destined to break apart?
How to say goodbye? He asked. Close the door and never come back, she said. How to explain the farewell? He asked. Give them a smile and say you no longer want to be around, she said. Wouldn’t they think that’s a lie? He asked.
“Bishop’s Honor” tells the story of Bishop, a detached soldier who formerly lived in solitary, far from the rest of the humanity. Then came Maeve, his former best friend’s widow, and her six-year-old son. Due to his promise to Maeve’s husband, Bishop came out from his isolation in order to help Maeve and her son navigated themselves through the Maunder Minimum, a period of solar inactivity that led to a mini-ice age.
July 12th & 13th, 2021 – Listening to TWICE’s Alcohol-Free.
To be honest, I’ve never been on a really bad vacation. Of course there were moments I absolutely hated during vacations, but they didn’t instantly mean I despised the vacation itself. There are always good and bad parts of certain things.
I hate getting on and off a bus, though I am fine with the bus ride itself. I wish I could just teleport in and out the bus without having to climb the stair, knocking over seats and people and wondering where to sit — all the while dragging a heavy bag and making sure my head doesn’t bump the roof. I also dislike aisle seat because I don’t know where to look for the rest of the ride. Should I face front? Should I watch the TV? Should I look at the window even though I have to risk meeting eyes with the person who sits beside me? Or maybe I should just look down on my lap and make up my own TV show inside my head.