Remember the dawn at the harbour when we stood few feet apart, watching the crowds gathering as the moon hide behind some obscure gray clouds? You think it’s the end, but for me it’s the beginning.
I guess something did end back then though. Maybe it’s the affection, or simply the care. Nothing important since as I’ve said, for me, that was the beginning.
To begin to care less. To begin to move on. To begin to love other things that are not humans.
I was — I am — taking a new path, leaving all the burdens behind. Those boring black shoes. The inconvenient long-sleeved shirt. Words that got swallowed up in fear. Most importantly the fear itself.
And you. Maybe it’s all about you.
I remember that neither of us had bothered to show sadness, to play pretend. It’s a goodbye for you, a step to another journey. It’s a hello from me, said to the expanding world that has no you in it.
The air at the harbour had been cold, but you hugged yourself and my hand had no interest in reaching out. When the boat came, we stepped into it together.
But not really together, as we soon came to realize.
Because it’s the end for you and the beginning for me. Even when we never really told each other about it, we knew the turning of the page when we saw it.
Sragen, 20th August 2021