In fear, I grasp your hand.
You look at me; angry, disgusted, sad. Full of misery. Drowning in disappointment. For I am not the one you expect me to be. For I am not the way you hope me to be.
But I hold you still, because I don’t know any other option. I do not want any other option. For me it is always you. For me it will be forever you. For me there is no other way beside you. You are my last choice. You are my one and only choice.
In farewell, you let go of my hand.
Walking away, that back of yours. Always. All the time. Whenever you get the chance. Every time I give you excuses to.
But will you come back this time? Will you return to me, once again?
Winter has ended. Spring is arriving.
You say your goodbye, one more time.
But will it be the last time?
(I hope not, you wish it was.)
Sragen, November 27th 2020