49 Days Journal Challenge – Day 38

Sragen. 01.07.2020.

18:20. Listening to Maiko Fujita’s 「その声が聞きたくて」。

I might or might have not placed the yellow paint back to its place. I remembered that around lunchtime, my baby sister had run away from my room bringing that particular yellow paint. Then just after she woke up from her afternoon nap, I thought I saw it on the bed. I just couldn’t remember whether I had taken it back to my room or not. I think I had. I could just check. If I get up from the floor right now and check the paints set in my drawer, I would find out whether the yellow paint has been brought back or not. Then I can rest easy. Pretty sure I had brought it back though. Huh.

Anyway it’s not that important. Even if I haven’t brought it back, the paint would be found tomorrow when we clean the house. Even if I don’t find it, I rarely use it. I’ve been using my crayon pastels for the past few weeks. I think the main reason I feel not so inclined to get up right now is because I don’t have an urgent need to use the paint at the moment. That’s where deadline and things like that are really useful, right? That’s what I remembered from the Thomas Frank’s video I watched this morning. That limitations drive you to be more productive and creative than infinite freedom will ever do.

To be honest, I don’t know how to end this entry. There are so many possibilities. I just wrote a whole paragraph on procrastination before I deleted it again. Somehow, I could see that the topic will go on and on, and that is something I don’t want. In half an hour, I would have to take my medicine. In fifteen minutes, I would have to eat dinner. Right at this moment, I’m supposed to be getting ready to shut down my laptop and end the day.

So this is it. It’s been a while since I write this mantra, but I would like to use it again. Don’t forget to be brave. Be happy.

And good night–hopefully you will have a restful night ahead.

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