17:37. Listening to Anna Tsuchiya’s 「黒い涙」。
You know when time goes faster and you realize that you haven’t done anything productive at all? I feel like that today. Not because I particularly did nothing productive, but because I didn’t set any specific intention or goal today. I just told myself to spend the day by reading 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami, which I did, but I hadn’t told myself specifically how many minutes or pages or chapters I want to read. So in the end of the day I find myself having done four chapters of reading but don’t quite feel fulfilled, because I didn’t set any clear goal on it.
Days like these make me realize how important goal is in life. However small or big. I know there are some people who prefer to live while going with the flow. And while I do agree that flexibility is also important in life, I always know that I’m not the type of person who likes being directionless. It is not saying that I have to constantly hustle, but that I want my days to have meaning. If today is a resting day, I want it to be defined. Resting can mean no work, no assignments, no stressing out over things I’d have to do tomorrow. Resting can also mean saying yes to an art project I’ve been postponing because of school or saying yes to that dinner invitation I’ve always rejected because I was in the middle of exam.
Some of you might think that “reading 1Q84” is a pretty specific goal, but for me, not quite. In my opinion, it’s pretty broad. I have to be specific like “reading until chapter 10” or “reading for thirty minutes” or even “reading until I am bored of it”–which is subjective, but it is better than only “reading”.
Creating a goal as specific and reachable as possible makes my day a lot easier. It’s something I have learned by experiences and something I’d like to apply in my life whenever it’s possible.