49 Days Journal Challenge – Day 30

Sragen. 23.06.2020.

18:36. Listening to Stray Kids’s Mixtape #2.

Just realized that since my big event in August was cancelled (I was part of the committee), I basically had no plan for the holiday. More surprised to realize that in a week June will be over. I received my first grade for this semester two days ago. Another four to go. And then I would have to move on. In no time at all my holiday would be over. How much time has passed by.

On Thursday I’m meeting my therapist. I am not sure what I want to say to her. Am I alright? Am I doing well? Is there anything I want to improve? Last month my biggest concern had been my sleeping schedule and I think it has improved now. Did I struggle with anything else? Sometimes I’m not sure whether I’m truly struggling or just exaggerating, or maybe both at the same time? Maybe the two are connected. I am not sure. There are a lot of things that I’m unsure about.

On internet, people usually ask each other whether the pandemic has affected them. Again, I’m not sure. Or maybe that’s a wrong assumption. I am sure that it has affected me, I am just not sure whether the effects are positive or negative. Maybe both. Maybe everything in this world can be both. Maybe maybe is not the word we’re supposed to use. Or maybe maybe is the answer to everything in this world.

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